Poetry

For Your Love

I see you, Dark Chocolate
Swinging your hips to the throom throom of this foreign music
Your skirt so short, my imagination is unnecessary
Your titties jiggling in your dress like the many eyes trying to keep up with them.
Know that I love you, no matter what
That the tears of your pain and loneliness stain my pillow.
I know if I fell in love with you
You could shatter my soul with your passing interest
And the sweet succulent love I was encased in
Would pass to another.

Hey there Tangy Caramel
Swinging those dreadlocks to the beat of my heart
You have me arrested in those wide brown
Deep pools of cinnamon chocolate.
You cling so steadfast to the notion that your voice is drowned out
You yell so loud, to be heard, to be remembered
I love you sweet Caramel
I hear your words, golden drops of honey
Reverberating in that beautiful throat.
I cannot let my heart be swayed
Your passion would drain me completely
Overwhelm me till I am just a shell of the woman I used to be.

Tall glass of sweet dark Ebony
Strong long legs strutting to your own internal beat
Polished like well worn wood, reliable, sure
Your essence is so fragrant wafting behind you
Every eye stretches completely as you Tyra stomp by
Your beauty prostituted for the attention
Of the least of people.
I adore you, dark coffee, filling my senses
With your soft and tender embrace.
Don’t you dare touch my skin
I’ll be tingling forever with the memory of you
And ache to be touched again…

@ndungi2012

Hug me

You sit quietly beside me
And I can feel the vibrant pulse of life
Thrumming in your veins
Dum Dum Dum
In time with the soft breath
Coming out of your proud nose
Your warmth reaches out to me
Beckoning me to touch you
To be a part of the sweetness
Or just to taste it
But I hold out
Stretching that beckon into yearning
Letting that yearning grow into something
so large
My palms start to itch.

You look at me now
Love pouring out of your irises
Crumbling my resolve
Yearning bounds right over me
Crashing against me
I reach out
You reach out
I’m snuggled tight against you
Your scent filling my lungs
Your life imbuing me with vigour
I am yours.

@ndungi2012

Mufasa

mufasa – Bwandungi Mugarura

Ripped

That something that you just said on the phone
Tore right through me like a million shards of sharp glass
My anorexic self image
Had been shrinking all day

And was the size of a sesame seed
Finally it had started to reinflate
In the safety of your arms
Where I’m always protected and warm
Till I said something that invoked that response
That came quickly and swiftly
And ripped my slowly growing sense of self
Into the mess now laying on the floor between us
All systems are shutting down
And my naked exposed soul is closing shop
For a minute while I gather my senses about me.

So
I’m waiting for the explanation
That will take this mess of emotions
Swirling inside of me
Threatening to pummel me into the ground
Reminding me that I don’t find myself sexy
And carry myself so
Reinforcing the confusion of my choices
Each unique one glaring orange against khaki
Poking the nest of bees that had been calm
Since the day I met you.
I know when I hear what you have to say
I will have to leave this terrible space
But untill that time comes
I’m a prisoner.

Mirror Image

The mirror positioned in front of me
Shows me something no one else can see

I spend some time examining the evidence provided
The gruesome verdict concocted in my mind has decided
While angels try to convince me my opinion’s lopsided
Undivided they try to steer me provided
I follow

But the image staring at me haunts my soul
because I know what’s in there
waiting
waiting
waiting to come out…

My non-existent neck robbing my babies of a place to snuggle
Plain shoulders unflattering against spaghetti straps I tug on
My hairy double chin always tucked in will not give a hard-on
Nondescript lips desperately longing for that kiss on
My large flat nose destroying a probable Don Juan
Profile

My eyes which swim upon my face
Are sometimes too far apart
sometimes too close
My hairless brows require a donation
from my hairy chin

And deep within
the flogging continues

The mirror positioned in front of me
Shows me something no one else can see

Look into my eyes
Lemme show you what hides there

A deep seated fear of the needles nurses hold
The gross looking nature of cellular slime mold
Uncertainty looming before my dreams unfold
My deepest secrets to the entire world being told
A life ruled by tyranny and dictatorship controlled
Unable to see my way because of a forced blindfold
Spirit crushed by torturous evils and sins untold
A cage locking me into an image like a head hold
Death unnoticed by those I’ve loved, history all told…

I should be gripped
Gripped by the kind kind of fear that paralyzes
and sterilizes all my actions

Tell me am I worthy of the love I crave?
A diamond ring embracing my finger engraved
With knee melting sensitive words that I’d save
in my mind reciting them till I went to my grave

The words of my mother come floating to me
Baby girl you’re a beautiful gem, can’t you see?

Let’s stand together in front of the mirror

She kissed my hand and told me
Bwandungi,
Your name was given by your father’s grandmother
A beautiful name for a woman like no other
But pride she didn’t show but rather
let kindness her enemies smother.

Those legs are your father’s I’m sure you know that
Turn around baby girl and see muscles not fat
Your skin complexion was mixed in a chocolate vat
And that my darling is nothing to laugh at.

Take a look at your face interesting features lie bare
A bit of myself in here, a little of your father in there
An even mix of our favorite features, quite an affair
There’s nothing on your body to declare

The mirror positioned in front of me
Shows me something no one else can see

The strength of a thousand black women that came before
The ability to rise above iniquity and soar
Long arms to spread wide and send my love forth
Soft lips whispering a language bursting with metaphors
The gentle touch of hands accustomed to providing for
families teaming with with children galore
Understanding that everything in life doesn’t mean war
And that when it counts, when it matters
I’m there for you.

A queen.
Bred to be a wife, mother, lover, friend
A warm place for you to be free to be you.

The mirror positioned infront of me
Shows me something no one else can see

2008.ndungi

Ode to my lumps

I looked at all my lumps
Arrayed in glorious view
They rippled and jiggled and bounced around
It was time for all things new.

My family and friends, they told me
They love me just the same
But it’d sure be easier to hug me
If my lumps, I didn’t maintain

They jiggled when I laughed
And wiggled when I walked
They strained against my best outfits
Made my stomach look like it talked!

So I went to visit the gym
Find out all the things I could do
Signed a contract, found a trainer
Told “Hey girl, it’s up to you!”

I attended all the classes
Danced and jumped and ran and panted
With stocky-kiga-build to avoid
Streches and yoga classes I opted.

Pulled out the mat on which I’d stand
Smiled at my classmates nice and wide
Saw them stretch from the corner of my eye
Started stretching too! Yeah it’s pride!

The class began so did my pain
Each muscle straining to perform
The lumpy dumpy image in the mirror
Was ready to transform.

As we rose to greet the sun
My spine whispered up to me
Hey go easy on me buddy
I’ll stretch out, just wait and see.

Downward facing dog
Oh the horror of this move
My ass stretching out to the sky
My neighbor trying to disapprove.

With our legs stretched out in front
We were asked to touch our toes
Bend our back and keep them straight!
Let us make this energy flow!

As my muscles bent and twisted
And my mind transcended body
Blood coursing through my system
My performance wasn’t shoddy.

I retired to my home
Bent and twisted, totally broken
But the triumph in my heart
Joy and happiness was spoken.

I’ve decided I’d return
To the scene of my embarrassment
Get my ligaments and tendons
To enjoy the yoga movements!

Wanna come?

2008.ndungi

The Pinky and the Girl

Next week Pinky, we take over the World!

Sit there quietly
Don’t move a muscle
You’ll mess up your dress
Lemme fix your buckle

Strapped trapped and tied down
Natural curiosity for life brings a frown
While encouraging boys to clown
Bringing confusion around
Silly Barbies flung on the ground
Creativity straining against the bound
that has a choke hold on it

Come to the kitchen my love
Your Mama needs you
She feeds you
And wants you
To stop doing you
You
You
You
You selfish little bitch
Bring me a switch
Quick!
Come help your Mama!

Wash the dishes
Fold the clothes
Take Dad’s socks
Massage his toes
And when all is said and done
Come I’ll find another way to spoil your fun.

Next week Pinky, we take over the World!

Don’t touch your body it’s dirty, unclean
Month after agonizing month from it streams
blood
red
thick
yucky
smelly
nasty
crusty
murky
grimy
messy
filthy
scuzzy
slimy

YUCK! Don’t touch it!

But mama, the boys want a touch
And I don’t want to be too much
trouble
I want to receive the kind of looks she gets
Just want someone to gently call me their pet
Listen ma, I don’t want you to fret
But tonight Imma give it all to Brett
See if he’ll let
me be me

Brett’s a bastard of course and ends up not petting anything.

Next week Pinky, we take over the World!

Oh so white she’s so virginal
Dad’s proud to look at his little angel
The little dot, the fruit of his loins
Obedient little creature result of a join
Between his genes and his sweethearts

But the furor within her soul is burning
Eminent volcano eruption is hiding
The rumbling discontent of her heart beginning
Causing dissent in her family and making
Each one question the other mistaking
The conflict inside of their home pursuing
A dangerous foe they cannot see and turning
Blind to the fact that their angel had lost her wings during
The battle inside her.

She lost.

She now understands
Understands that her words will not be heard
Understand the World thinks her thoughts are all blurred
Because the organ she carries inside her deterred
The ability of her brain to process complicated information.

She now understands
Understands that in order to survive she must fight
Must fight for the right of the blight to be slight
Quite rightly for slight it must be
Must be slight for her to be free
Free from the shackles this blighted world put on her
Blighted world sickly imposes rules which occur
They occur to help maintain societies norms
Norms formed to oppress rather than inform
For they understand that ultimately
That information would let her be free

And those shackles that bound her to a fate so obtuse
The misinformation that only garnered abuse
Abuse for the organs which let her reproduce
A powerful people a loose obtuse reproduced nation
Who used their power to put that noose on relations
Would be crushed by her power and rise from frustration
To build a foundation for a new generation of change!

But right now she sits quietly behind you and me
Unassuming, quite shy but waiting for the key
The key to unlock her immeasurable potential
Essential exponential potential
Inside her
to take over the whole world!

Today Pinky, we take over the World!

2007.ndungi

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